Awww. . . poor me. . . .

Man, it's Monday already?! Geeeeeez. . . .

Saw pics of Mia's baby!!! Awwww. . . can't wait until my best friend has her's! She's due Nov. 20th & it's slowly creeping up. I have baby fever right now - and want to cuddle with hers!!!!

Zoey and I had such a good weekend! Stayed over at Nana's all day Saturday & Sunday. Went to church with them on Sunday. Whoa. Talk about a big congregation. They belong to Plano Baptist - and man, it was like a friggin' convention!!! It was nice though!

Saturday night, I went to my Dad's Halloween party while Zoey stayed with Nana & Poppa Alfred. Yeah, it pretty much sucked. I just sat around watching a bunch of people in thier 40's act stupid, and sulked about not being out with people my own age. My fireman friend called around 10pm, and they were at a wedding reception I wasn't invited to. After that they were headed to a Halloween party - again, that I wasn't invited to and that he didn't even bother to ask if I'd like to come along. :-( Guess he only calls & invites me out when he has nothing better to do! Hurts my feelings, but, I need to find better folks to hang out with anyhow.

I came back to my Mom's around midnight, sobing all the way home. I wasn't drunk, however, the tequila I did have was showing it's affects. I cried because I'm lonely. Because I was sad. Because. . . hell, just because!! I *could* go back on my medication again to solve that quickly - but I liked crying. I liked feeling sorry for myself for once. I didn't want pitty, just wanted to cry!

I got to my Mom's, climbed in my sisters bed (she was staying the night with a friend) and attempted to go to sleep with thousands of racing thoughts trampling all over me. Finally I fell asleep around 1:45, only to wake up at 7am, because my body no longer allows me to sleep in. Heh.

In an attempt to feel better about myself, I have started Weight Watchers again. Only drinking water & the occational juice. . . and counting points. Okay, so I only weigh 112lbs, I still have area's of my body I despise. Love handles, baby gut, etc. I've made a vow to really work on my outside - to make my inside a little happier. Depression only makes me hoard food like a hog. I am going to begin a morning & nightly workout regimen. This will prove to myself that I don't give up on everything. I have to do it!

Jeremy brought over the coat he bought for Zoey last night. It's not as bad as I pictured it. I still do not like BLACK on my toddler - but it'll do. He colored with her for a while, and left.

Oooh - and it's supposed to be NASTY outside on Halloween. Zoey and I are going to a Halloween Carnival at my best friend's church - so I wonder what thier plans are going to be if it's all rainy & 50 degrees outside? Humph.

Okay - time to see if anyone has updated thier diary to give me something to do! :-)