Men SUCK (or at least MINE does)

My best friend and I were speaking the other day about Jeremy and I’s situation. She had initially told me, “You need to do what you feel is best for you & Zoey.” And that she supported me in whatever I did. Well, yesterday, she said that she feels that she made a mistake in the advice she gave me. That she feels that I need to instead rely on God for my answers & really think about things. Ugh. Ever since she and her family have been really big on going to church – she’s changed. I mean, I do understand that I should really take my problems to the Lord – but I also don’t understand her retracting her support.

She and I were VERY mischievous in high school. Smoked, skipped school, drank, did drugs. You name it, we did it. We’ve always been SO very close. But now, I feel that we are so very different. Granted, she *is* pregnant and cannot necessarily hang out with me like she used to, but I also wonder about after she has her baby. Will she want to still hang out? Even though I go to clubs? And drink? And smoke? And cuss? Does she think ‘down’ on me now that she has reverted into a more mainstream Christian lifestyle? I just don’t feel that closeness we once shared. People do grow apart, I know this. But she was like the one, real, true friend I had/have. And I am not saying that I am discouraged by her positive change in lifestyle – it’s just that I miss having a friend who I could fee comfortable around without constantly thinking, “She’s sinning! She’s sinning! She’s sinning!”

Oh yeah, then I call Jeremy today to see if he’s going to be giving me my child support this weekend so I can pay my rent. He says, “No! I have to pay MY rent this weekend. I’ll give you your money next Friday.” WTF?!? Um, if *I* do not have rent. . . .then myself and his child will be homeless. . . HELLO! I really, REALLY dislike him sometimes. HE is the one that moved out, and then busted his ass to find Zoey and I our own apartment. HE is the one that said he would give me ½ of what my rent is as ‘child support.’ I’d love to just HIT something right now. Namely, HIM.

I made Zoey and I some spinach & parmesan pasta last night. She LOVED it! I couldn’t shovel it in her mouth fast enough! I guess what Aishy said was right – what they eat/don’t eat in a weeks (or two) duration usually balances itself out. And it has! I also told the sitter about her being a finicky eater at dinner. She told me not to fret – that Zoey eats wonderfully at her house and always finishes what she gives her. I breathed somewhat a sigh of relief knowing she eats healthy, well-balanced meals at the sitters house – but it’s at home where I get drained.

S’posed to go have that night out with Jeremy tonight as a matter of fact. To get our feelings out & known – and to diminish the game playing. I have a feeling it’s not going to go over to well. . . . .for him.